"The best thing one can do when it is raining is to let it rain." -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Though taking strong strokes, sometimes it feels like I'm static as I swim against the current. Choosing to float downstream during these moments is not defeat. It's surrendering to a force I can't overcome today.
"The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn." -Alvin Toffler
Nothing is more limiting to my growth than having no doubt in my accuracy.
"Life was meant to be lived, and curiosity must be kept alive. One must never, for whatever reason, turn his back on life." -Eleanor Roosevelt
Perhaps curiosity is the paradox at the center of my human existence, Happiness versus Power. While opening the door to judgment free interpersonal connection, curiosity is also the fuel that drives the craving, no, the need for more.
"It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences." -Audre Lorde
When I lead my life with judgment free curiosity, distractions to my day become gifts, not annoyances or attacks.
“Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength.” —Eric Hoffer
When my ability to respond in a thoughtful and considered manner has reached its limit, my fear driven ego is at the ready to step in with personal attacks.
"We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take the time to enjoy where we are." -Bill Watterson
The danger when I fixate on imagined potholes around the bend, is that I fail to see the detour sign directing me to safety.
“Awareness of ignorance is the beginning of wisdom.” -Socrates
For so long I thought wisdom was my ability to provide answers. It took life's humbling moments before I could acknowledge limitless learning by not knowing.”
"My dark days made me strong. Or maybe I already was strong, and they made me prove it." -Emery Lord
The depth I must go to find my strength is directly proportional to the grip I hold on my absolute truths. The tighter my grip, the more painful my journey to reach strength.
"What does the money machine eat? It eats youth, spontaneity, life, beauty and above all it eats creativity. It eats quality and shits out quantity." -William S. Burroughs
When the greatest value in my life was monetary gain, the quiet erosion of empathetic feelings silently led me to a lonely and unhappy existence, not recognizing my misery until the illusion of happiness through things was lost...which also cost me your friendship.
"The only clue to what a man can do is what man has done." -R.G. Collingwood
If I, as an individual humanbeing, am incapable of exacting change in my life until repeated undesirable outcomes back me into a corner, how can a society of people ever be expected to prevent history from repeating. Perhaps the best we can hope for is the prevention of the cataclysmic.
"The smallest deed is better than the grandest intention." -Anonymous
Apologies are fragile. Their true weight not based in the words themselves, but in how I behave after they leave my mouth.
"You should not copy the bad simply because they are many, nor should you hate the many because they are unlike you." -Seneca
I have been told since childhood that I am uniquely different. My willingness to recognize the same individuality in everyone, removes my need for judgment and replaces it with the opportunity for compromise and compassion.
"All men make mistakes, but a good man yields when he knows his course is wrong, and repairs the evil. The only crime is pride." -Sophocles
Oh how frequently have I ridden the certainty of my ego well past the moment of being proven wrong. Just like a test drive vehicle into the wall.
"Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities." -Voltaire
Dynamic and charismatic people are able to extract my emotional support hypnotically, even though logically I recognize they have an unknown agenda.
"The most dangerous form of blindness is to believe that your perspective is the only reality." -William A. Purkey
Although I can hold 100% certainty regarding an issue, I can never see all the threads woven into the tapestry of any outcome.
"Kindness is someone loaning you their strength instead of reminding them of their weakness." -Andy Stanley
Is it truly intellectual superiority when I verbally attack another or am I trying to elevate myself by de-elevating others.
"Try to understand men, if you understand each other you will be kind to each other." -John Steinbeck
My lack of empathy has driven me to not care about how someone arrived at my doorstep, but how to quickly get rid of them.
"A system that makes you pay to exist, compete to eat, and obey to survive is not a civilization, it's a prison with shopping privileges." -Unknown
When governments seize power over our life, is it not like that which takes place on the elementary school playgrounds everyday; the stakes being measured in greed rather than milk money.
"Is politics nothing other than the art of deliberately lying?" -Voltaire
Exerting power over others seems to release a chemical lie in my brain, making me feel I'm superior.
"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts." -Bertrand Russell
Life seems to require balance. My ego drives self-assuredness and makes things move. Wisdom requires outside opinion and insight, which is slow to act. Spirited conversation and debate combine to support more expected outcomes.
"We can know only that we know nothing. And that is the highest degree of human wisdom." -Leo Tolstoy
Knowledge is gained through specific experiences. Understanding those situations are not the only solutions is wisdom.
"Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted." -Ralph Waldo Emerson
My sensitivity to imperfection, perhaps even to embarrassment, has created an alternative version of myself - a narcissistic personality that I wield like a sword.
"The magic of childhood wasn’t because you were a child, it was because you were living in the present." -Unknown
The wonder of life is not just a gift of childhood. It lies waiting for me, bound by fear and self-certain knowledge; hoping curiosity will break the ties that bind.
"Bad men live that they may eat and drink, whereas good men eat and drink that they may live." -Socrates
When my life's purpose is found in power and acquisition, greed will drive me to behave in a way that prevents you from finding yours.
"Originality thrives in seclusion free of outside influences beating upon us to cripple the creative mind." -Nikola Tesla
Comfort requires the creative mind to rest so routine is safeguarded from worldly challenges.
"The best teachers are those who show you where to look, but don't tell you what to see." -Alexandra K.Trenfor
It seems prevalent in my life today, that it is more important for me to show how intelligent I am, rather than simply offering my perspective and respecting your intelligence to decide for yourself.
"Your feelings don't matter. The only thing that matters is what you do." -Mel Robbins
If I truly choose to be a victim of life's challenges, I will allow my emotional feelings to dictate my actions.
"You can't control how you feel. But you can always choose how you act." -Mel Robbins
The winds of life carry external factors, swirling different feelings from one extreme to another. The gust carrying an initial feeling is not optional. The exciting news is, I am not required to respond the way its blowing.
"I don't know what word in the English language—I can't find one—that applies to people who are willing to sacrifice the literal existence of organized human life so they can put a few more dollars into highly stuffed pockets. The word 'evil' doesn't even begin to approach it." -Noam Chomsky
As a people, is it not time we redirect our outrage from battling each other over personal beliefs, that cost us nothing, to shaming and challenging big business for their manipulation and greed that is systematically dismantling the very systems that sustain life?
"The general population doesn't know what's happening, and it doesn't even know that it doesn't know." -Noam Chomsky
As a business consultant, I am engaged to reveal what owners don't see in order to improve their organization's. Why then, do I assume to have all the insights needed to clearly navigate the factors effecting my own life and opinions? By doing so, am I possibly closing my eyes to things that will help me see more clearly?
"You can't depend on your judgment when your imagination is out of focus." -Mark Twain
My judgment works to address only that which I have experienced and can recall. Creativity allows me to see beyond that limiting view.
"A happy life neither resembles a rapid torrent, nor a standing pool, but is like a gentle stream, that glides smoothly and silently along." -Epicurus
The peaks and valleys in my life are volcanic creations of a melodramaic mind.
"The time to make up your mind about people, is never." -Philip Barry
The single panes of glass I view the behaviors of others through, are too small to reveal an accurate picture of how they have lived
"Let us not go back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness." -James Thurber
The "Re" in relive, resentment and regret means back or again...unchangeable. Fear is speculation...only imagined. What is real and within my control is right in front of me, here and now.
"Fear builds its phantoms which are more fearsome than reality itself." -Jawaharlal Nehru
When I find myself living in future outcomes, anxiety rules the day but seldom appears tomorrow.
"Travel is the traveler. What we see isn't what we see but what we are." -Fernando Pessoa
All that I experience is subject to my senses - sight, sound, smell, taste, touch - further shaped by my mood and memory recall. The event is about the traveler in me, not its veracity.
“Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction.” -Blaise Pascal
My attachment to personal notions of right and wrong drive me to passionately defend that position - politically, religiously, patriotically. Perhaps morality is measured not by conviction but by how far I will go to allow your position to exist with mine.
"Travel is the traveler. What we see isn't what we see but what we are." -Fernando Pessoa
All that I experience is subject to my senses - sight, sound, smell, taste, touch - further shaped by my mood and memory recall. The event is about the traveler in me, not its veracity.
"Rebellion is born when rulers forget they are meant to serve." -Confucius
Can a society function with out leadership? Can leadership function without craving power? Can a society hold leadership responsible to all people or will we wait until our individual needs are compromised before taking action? Or, is humanity destined to an ongoing societal cycle of powerful and powerless - rebellion and change?
"A dying culture invariably exhibits personal rudeness. Bad manners. Lack of consideration for others in minor matters. A loss of politeness, of gentle manners, is more significant than is a riot." -Robert A. Heinlein
Regardless of what my beliefs may be, do they presuppose I should treat anyone with disrespect?
"The next best thing to being wise oneself is to live in a circle of those who are." -C.S. Lewis
If I am willing, a peer group - diverse from my thinking, can provide me insight I won't see on my own. Humility will lead me to success.
"Is it astonishing that great minds are not produced, in a country where the test of a great mind is, agreeing in the opinions of the small minds?" -John Stuart Mill
When I was a practicing narcissist in leadership, I would allow suggestions. I even implemented some of them - as long as they aligned with my thinking.
"If you want to know who controls you, look at those that you cannot criticize." -Kevin Alfred
My children taught me that manipulation is an expression of power; control over another incapable of resisting it.
"You need power only when you want to do something harmful. Otherwise, love is enough to get everything done." -Charlie Chaplin
It starts on the playground and continues til the death - giant ego's fueled by low self-esteem - bullying and manipulation to gain an advantage over others that invest in kindness and love.
"Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it." -Lewis Carroll
What I think I know, blinds me to what I could know.
"For the things we have to learn before we can do, we learn by doing." -Aristotle
Perhaps this is why large change is so onerous. Its hard enough for me to shift my position, let alone a civilization of free thinkers.
"Nothing is absolute. Everything changes, everything moves, everything revolves, everything flies and goes away." -Frida Kahlo
My resistance to transform, or accept it in others, traps me in an inescapable world of disappointment and anger.
"The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it." -Eckhart Tolle
Even great loss, such as imminent death, can be mitigated when I understand the limits to what I can and cannot change; the situation or how I choose to move forward. with it.
"Beware of overconcern for money, or position, or glory. Someday you will meet a man who cares for none of these things. Then you will know how poor you are." -Rudyard Kipling
The aftermarket add-ons that humankind has determined have value, are 100% opposite the original equipment.
"Do not fear mistakes, there are none." -Miles Davis
Why must I insist on the bar being perfection. Am I not human, flawed and imperfect...it is simply untenable. My best foot forward, based on experience and resource, then navigating expected and unexpected outcomes has led to not just a tenable, but happy life.
“The calmer you are, the clearer you think. Let your decisions come from a place of peace, not from reaction." -Unknown
Some of my most solid decisions have come on the heels of an emotional reaction. Sad desperation, red-eye anger, venomous retaliation are great states of mind for rational, sound judgment, right?
"Our prime purpose in this life is to help others." -Dalai Lama
Perhaps the most self-destructive thing a society can do, is discard their elderly. For within them lies the wisdom of ages; learned counsel or a masterpiece never unveiled.
“He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much." -Bessie Anderson Stanley
It saddens me that in discussions about success, they almost always slip into money and what it acquires. We have become a society skilled at commerce and consumption; desperately lacking in compassion, connection and community.
"Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its troubles, but it empties it of its strength." -George Seaton
When I sink into worry about the future, it's the same value as dwelling in the unchangeable past. The past is a history, the future a mystery. My strength is living fully in today.
"We'll go down in history as the first society that wouldn't save itself because it wasn't cost-effective." -Donella Meadows
Our GPS is dialed into commercial business success...always on time. Yet when trying to locate compassion, kindness and empathy...continually recalculates.
"If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
Low self-esteem feeds my dishonesty and dishonesty my loss of identity. Lost identity is like treading water in a pool of lies and misery, not knowing how to find the edge.
"A happy life consists not in the absence, but in the mastery of hardships." -Helen Keller
Those that enjoy rafting river rapids do not participate because of the calm waters. The value of that activity comes from happily navigating the obstacles and sudden drops.
"The death of human empathy is one of the earliest and most telling signs of a culture on the verge of descending into barbarism." -Hannah Arendt
I was mean, angry and even violent when I lived a life inwardly focused, void of empathy for anyone else.
"We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are." -Anaïs Nin
Perspective can close my mind to alternatives invisible to my experience. Another's story has the power to expand my outlook, whether I embrace it or not.
"To resist love and inoculate yourself against heartbreak is to reject life itself, for to love is your primary human function." -Nick Cave
The certainties in my life are typically designed to protect me from the possibility of pain rather than opportunity for pleasure. Certainty = Deserted Island Openness = 5 Star Resort
"If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts, he shall end in certainties." —Francis Bacon
At a time when certainly ruled my life, lonely isolation was my reward.
"The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand, we listen to reply." -Stephen Covey
When I'm carefully crafting my response while you are still speaking, I've already decided your position is of no value.
"Overthinking is the biggest cause of unhappiness." -Ralph Marston
My mind is a powerful magician; given room, it can make reason vanish, reappearing as a perfectly rationale lie.
"A big part of being confident is being brave, and you can’t be brave unless you’re scared." -Bo Burnham
It is scary for me to step outside the fear created by my experience, even though my previous leaps of faith were not so terrifying...in hindsight.
"When I have no room to be wrong, I will always miss the truth." -Daily Ponder
Knowledge. Opportunity. Friendship. Love. The truly sad thing is, I don't even know what I have missed out on due to a fear-driven ego fooling me to think I was superior.
"The truth has no defense against a fool determined to believe a lie." -Mark Twain
My ego, and desire to be right, can blind me to anything outside of my own box of knowledge and experience. Perhaps even truth.
"People do not seem to realize that their opinion of the world is also a confession of their character." -Ralph Waldo Emerson
When I place judgment on others, such as declaring my superiority to them, all I am announcing is how inferior I actually feel.
"We must take a hard road, a road unforeseen. There lies our hope, if hope it be." -J.R.R. Tolkien
As a child, my parents were amazing, I wanted for little. As time passed, I found my youthful coping experiences were molded plastic swords, shattering against the brick wall of an adult life. A life that sheltered hope on the other side.
"We all accept too easily that life has to be hard and forget to make sure we have the most fun we can." -Amy Schumer
My life is as busy, stressful, dramatic and hard as I choose it to be. My life is as calm, relaxing, drama-free and easy as I choose it to be. Both are equally true.
"You have two choices, to control your mind or to let your mind control you." -Paulo Coelho
When I am seeking creativity, a mind unhindered will construct a masterpiece. When seeking clarity, my unbridled mind builds an elegant catastrophe.
"The past is beautiful because one never realizes an emotion at the time. It expands later." -Virginia Woolf
My past is a beautifully created piece of fictional art; colored magnificently by my emotional recollection, exaggeration and everything that has happened since.
"Thinking is difficult, that's why most people judge." -Carl Jung
My unsolicited advice and judgments are easy. They don't require listening, engaging or learning about your situation; they are only just echoes of my opinions.
"No one is more hated than he who speaks the truth." -Plato
One of the scariest things I can face is to be wrong. It challenges my past decisions, my ego.
"Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it." -Helen Keller
Pain is mandatory; suffering my choice. As I am not the only one to ever face my challenge, I can also choose to escape sufferings grasp. Many others before me have, why not me?
"A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open." -Frankly Zappa
A rain barrel, a net and my mind have one thing in common. They are each designed to capture things that will nourish my body.
"True originality consists not in a new manner but in a new vision." -Edith Wharton
There are no original thoughts, this is the premise of Daily Ponder. There are only new ways of communicating the old ideas and concepts in a way that may resonate with a new audience.
"One person's 'barbarian' is another person's 'just doing what everybody else is doing'." -Susan Sontag
Normal is an interesting word. It is a comfortable reflection of a time gone by that is intended to mean the same thing for everyone, but doesn't."
"One of the most cowardly things ordinary people do is to shut their eyes to facts." —C.S. Lewis
The time for me to be silent is when you are sharing your past experience. These are opportunities for me to learn. The time for me to sound off is when viewing your current experience as unjust. These are opportunities for me to help.
"If you can't be corrected without being offended, you will never grow in life." -Daniel San Miguel
It becomes increasingly difficult to live a happy and peaceful life the more I feel I hold the patent on right and wrong. The tighter I cling to certainty, the greater my anger and resentment for others.
"It takes two years to learn to speak and sixty to learn to keep quiet." -Ernest Hemingway
The most compelling people don't press their thoughts into a conversation. In fact, their questioning or even silence is intriguing. When the interesting do speak, its typically a gem.
"How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it." -Marcus Aurelius
Anger hastens me to red eyed emotional responses... designed to permanently end the threat without consideration to the aftermath.
"He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough." -Laozi
The sad thing about capitalism is that I'm never happy until all you have is also mine...and even then only temporarily.
"Never be limited by other people’s limited imaginations." -Mae Jemison
Opinions are determinations made by me from my past experience. When solicited, they should be considered input to your creative concept, not a deterrent.
"If you feel you are in a black hole, don't give up. There's a way out." -Stephen Hawking
An issues darkness is developed from my minds base programming, no external input. Other people have faced the same challenge and found the light. To step out of the darkness, I should seek them out.
"The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to control it." -H.L. Mencken
When it comes to philanthropy, civil service, faith, spirituality and self-help, the work should be the headline. My name shouldn't even be a byline, lest the story become about my ego.
"Letting your mind play is the best way to solve problems." -Bill Watterson
I always keep a notepad close, as my best laid plans and creative ideas come when I'm giving them no thought.
"We're all going to die, all of us, what a circus! That alone should make us love each other but it doesn't. We are terrorized and flattened by trivialities, we are eaten up by nothing." -Charles Bukowski
Were I, during this very short life, set aside the necessity to crack the lion tamers whip of control, perhaps the lion and I could help each other...dare I say even be friends?
"Whatever it is you’re seeking won’t come in the form you’re expecting." -Haruki Murakami
Road rage directed at drivers with the nerve to impede my progress may be a target for my wish list. My wish usually comes true, typically in the form of more drivers just like them. I failed to consider my wish may not appear as open road but rather in opportunities for me to practice patience.
"The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing." -Albert Einstein
"You can also commit injustice by doing nothing." -Marcus Aurelius
Like an apology left empty by my unchanged behavior, I scatter thoughts, opinions and philosophies of our current political situation through conversation and all over social media and let it end there.
"I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure - which is: Try to please everybody." -Herbert Bayard Swope
My wisest sales coach gave me a great life lesson. 40% will always buy, 40% will never buy. Strive to always be your unique best and earn the 20%, you have no idea who they are.
"Better to be king of your silence than slave of your words." -William Shakespeare
Those moments where I feel it is very important to state my position is precisely when I should silence my ego and continue to listen; there is a new perspective I need to understand.
"Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude." -Denis Waitley
For so much of my life I felt my happiness was a pursuit. Ironically, it was always inside me, I was simply preoccupied searching outside.
"There is but one thing of real value - to cultivate truth and justice, and to live without anger in the midst of lying and unjust men." -Marcus Aurelius
I do not believe myself unjust, dishonest, unkind or angry. Yet I will behave in contradiction to each. My best path is to strive for consistent behavior while quickly correcting my course when I stray.
"Despair is only for those who see the end beyond all doubt." -J.R.R. Tolkien
It is easy to create agony. My mind is a self-defense system, built over the years to protect me from harm. Lowering those safeguards require I have hope beyond what my experience can conceive.
"The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled." -Plutarch
None of my absolute truths are. They are tailored through experience expressly for me. I should keep them actively burning and shifting like a flame.
"The very man who has argued you down will sometimes be found, years later, to have been influenced by what you said." -C.S. Lewis
When I present an opinion in an angry and dismissive manner, it's my disposition not my position that you'll remember.
"In our darkest moments, we don't need advice." -Ernest Hemingway
I struggle being told what to do during the best of times, so why do I think my unsolicited advice will land differently with you? Especially when it's simply support you need.
"The moment we cease to hold each other, the moment we break faith with one another, the sea engulfs us and the light goes out." -James Baldwin
It is no longer just Pink's Wall sheltering me from exposure to life's emotional traumas. Today I build walls around my home, don't answer a doorbell nor wish a good day to a stranger on the street. I have become an invite only island, in mind and body.
"Only the curious have something to find." -Sean Watkins
When I have reached the pinnacle of my wisdom, you will find me sitting in a rocker on my front porch complaining about all the goings on in front of me. Sound like fun?
"At the end of the day, we can endure much more than we think we can." -Frida Kahlo
My perception is a key factor in my ability to endure a life challenge. If I'm not able to endure it, perhaps I'm not supposed to.
"In business as in life, be humble. No one knows everything and even if you have a solution, someone else may have one that serves your purpose better." -Daily Ponder
When someone boasts; "I've been doing it the same way for 15 years!" I can't help but think of Kodak's decision to not go digital.
"The aim of an argument should not be victory but progress." -Karl Popper
When my opinion collides with yours, I stand at a fork in the road. War, where victory is a hollow stroke of my ego or humble exploration, where at the very least I can test the strength of my position. Too often my default is to square off as an enemy.
"It is usually futile to try to talk facts and analysis to people who are enjoying a sense of moral superiority in their ignorance." -Thomas Sowell
I can only imagine the intriguing insights and opportunities I missed while living a smug life knowing more than everyone else.
"Set wide the window. Let me drink the day." -Edith Wharton
My life is a scrapbook of snapshots. My view of specific places in time...outcomes from things that may have been in development an entire lifetime. Do I want to base my opinions and positions on just scraps of knowledge?
"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself." -Paulo Coelho
“Worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe.” -Mark Twain
My creative mind can brew up a colorful tempest in a teapot - a much greater threat to my happiness than most anything reality has in store.
"The greatest enemy of truth is not the lie, it is the lazy mind." -Voltaire
The moment I arrive at an absolute truth is the moment I lose my ability to see truth at all.
"Manipulation is when they blame you for your reaction to their disrespect." -Daniel Chidiac
Manipulating an outcome is my ego exercising momentary power over another; a desperate act of convenience and fear. Or perhaps its just the point where my coping skills become exhausted. Either way, both are destructive to me and others.
"Hate has caused a lot of problems in this world, but it's yet to solve one." -Maya Angelou
My resentment, anger and hate are responses; formed through emotional reactions; targeted with malice at a circumstance or person. What in that description says a constructive resolution should be expected?
"Freedom is not achieved by satisfying desire, but by eliminating it." -Epictetus
The alcoholic calls a person who drinks without issue, a normie. For me, the true problem is not simply a desire for alcohol, it's just a byproduct adding fuel to a life already on fire. Booze is easily replaced with eating, exercising, working, sex...anything I do compulsively for comfort. What drives my addiction is the fear of facing the things I don't want to address.
"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man." -Mark Twain
I view one of my greatest character defects as never being satiated. Perhaps it is less of a unique defect and more an indictment on my humanity.
"Loyalty to petrified opinions never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul in this world — and never will." -Mark Twain
Understanding that everything is fluid makes change more tolerable. Accepting change keeps me from becoming the grumpy old guy down the street.
"Life is how I make sense of it." -Daily Ponder
Democrat or Republican; Beatles or Stones; Hinduism or Atheist; TP roll over the top or bottom; There is no right or wrong, only perspectives that fit developed through experience. It's probably time I stop judging others based on their opinions.
"He who has peace of mind disturbs neither himself nor another." -Epicurus
Forcing myself into your life by judging you against my values is simply an insecure act seeking affirmation, rather than learning how to strengthen my own position.
"A mistake that makes you humble is better than an achievement that makes you arrogant." -Pierce Brosnan
The humble have such an advantage. Seldom do they gain an unexpected outcome due to an emotional response.
"We are all apprentices in a craft where no one ever becomes a master." -Ernest Hemingway
In all things the imposter syndrome can set in. I have to remember the only difference between me and the 'expert' is their confidence in their experience. I can gain conviction when I ask you to share yours.
"I can't believe what you say, because I see what you do." -James Baldwin
In a society that leans heavily on the manipulative word, have the divorces, lost jobs, children not speaking to me and fleeing friends not taught me the importance of my actions over words?
"Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live." -Oscar Wilde
Let's put this into a real life context I can understand. A company wants to make as much money as they possibly can. So the business playbook is to depress wages, shift its own costs onto workers and customers, and then cite those same costs as justifications to raise prices. If that's not asking others to live as ONE wishes to live, I'm not sure what is. Can we be better suppliers of goods and services; partner with our consumers rather than completely exhausting them of their resources?
"One of the most cowardly things ordinary people do is to shut their eyes to facts." -C.S. Lewis
Despite seeing injustice, fear kept me quiet. Why then would I be surprised by your silence when the inequity landed at my doorstep.
"Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers." -Voltaire
The greatest gift I can offer is to ask for your perspective. You get the opportunity to share an insightful experience and I to learn from it.
"Selfishness is the biggest curse of the human race." -Muhammad
My selfishness is fear based. I don't want to die so I require medicines and treatments to extend my life past its intended demise. Another's creative selfish brilliance creates those miracles of survival. As a result, our world is overpopulated, hungry and poor. Are these system failures or consequences of accomplishment. Perhaps trying to control humanity is a fools errand.
"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken." -C.S. Lewis
Since childhood, I thought the ability to manage on my own was a show of strength in life and love. Absent a more fruitful life, I came to learn that true strength surfaces when I expose where my vulnerabilities lie. Why choose to live on a deserted island when everything is available to me?
"I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened." -Mark Twain
Simply seeing or hearing of another's undesirable situation, plants an incendiary device of fear in my head, capable of igniting me from a state of calm into a raging inferno…if I choose to let it.
“One doesn't have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.” ―Charles Blow
When I was quick to explain why you were wrong, I did not intend to harm you, I was just ego blind to the fact that I was.
"The truth is rarely pure and never simple." -Oscar Wilde
Even when I set out to be 100% truthful, it's just not that tidy. Perspective, memory recall, recency effect and the telephone game can all influence how I repeat my truth. If my intent is to deceive, the muddled mess multiplies.
"Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future." -Paul Lewis Boese
My amends is not a request for your forgiveness, nor is its success dependent on your ratification. Its an acknowledgement of my actions and an acceptance of my punishment as time already served, typically significantly longer than you would imagine.
"You can't get away from yourself by moving from one place to another." -Ernest Hemingway
People in revovery call it a geographic. Changing the view, thinking the thinking will follow.
"The death of human empathy is one of the earliest and most telling signs of a culture about to fall into barbarism." -Hannah Arendt
"Ten men in our country could buy the whole world, and ten million can't buy enough to eat." -Will Rogers
Monday Interrogatory. Is it too late: To recognize no person, nation or belief is superior to another? To admit that the worship of money has never sustained a culture for long, For me to just do something kind in silence for someone else today?
"Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life." —Dolly Parton
Commerce is a concept created by humans, it does not exist in our natural state. Yet we have allowed it to be our guiding principle. Power and innovation squeeze out every ounce of profit through wage suppression, product obsolescence and unrelenting mark up. This model is unsustainable. Ultimately depressed wages and soaring prices will prevent the intended recipients from acquiring even basic goods. And, as passion trumps greed, the tea will wind up in the harbor.
“Those that fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.” –Winston Churchill
"History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme." –Mark Twain
We seem to live in a society that mirrors the definition of insanity. Most of us can site at least one example of how history is bound to repeat itself. And yet, our collective narcissism says, we are different. Is sanity achievable or are we just destined to add another rhythmic stanza.
"The love of violence is an aspect of our humanity. Even the weak wish to be strong primarily so they can wield the whip." -Dan Simmons
I have put hours into my self-improvement; worked hard to manage my anger. But if I found myself in the position to be the bully, to exert power over someone else for personal gain, would my hard work cede to human nature.
"The shortest route to courage is absolute ignorance." -Dan Simmons
As a child I was awkwardly fearless - stumbling forward to just see what was there. Then someone said…be careful.
"Context is to data what water is to a dolphin." -Dan Simmons
Opinions, theories and information I hold to be true have been shaped by experiential data gathered over a lifetime-data I believe supports a reasonable conclusion. Definitive to me, indeterminate to other dolphins.
"The Great Change is when humankind accepts its role as part of the natural order of the universe instead of its role as a cancer." -Dan Simmons
We establish governments and spiritual institutions to shape human behavior. Initially successful, with time, curiosity and ambition for power blinds us to the deeper truth - we live 'Within' a community of others, not above or below them. No one better. No one worse. All just uniquely different parts necessary to the whole. The question begs; Can our humanity sustain a system that guides us toward true balance? Or does the shift begin not in our societal structure, but in our very nature?
"It occurs to me that our survival may depend upon our talking to one another." -Dan Simmons
I have become unashamedly superior. I talk at people like they are inexperienced children requiring discipline and hear nothing they say as they clearly possess an inferior intellect to my own. If thats how I see the world, have I not set myself aside as a diety?
"A genius is the one most like himself." -Thelonious Monk
The things through which someone could express genius are infinite-recognized by others or not. I probably won't even acknowledge them in myself since they are just things I love and do with ease. Perhaps genius is simply a misnomer for true passion.
"Know how to listen, and you will profit even from those who talk badly." -Plutarch
Everyone...particularly someone I struggle to be around, can offer something from which I can learn - if my goal is to grow beyond self. It simply requires me to be non-judgmental, while actively listening and engaging in perspective interaction. A Socratic workout to be sure.
“Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Great men are almost always bad men, even when they exercise influence and not authority; still more when you superadd the tendency of the certainty of corruption by authority.” -Lord Acton
I have oft wondered, though I work and strive to be well intentioned and humble, were I to become a man of power and influence, would I continue to endeavor for the same or is it simply my humanity to not.
“The unending paradox is that we do learn through pain.” -Madeleine L'Engle
Had I been capable of heeding the suggestions of those that had been there before, maybe I'd have avoided dragging my ass along the rocky bottom of life experience. All in preparation for a different ass dragging.
"Surrender is the simple but profound wisdom of yielding to rather than opposing the flow of life." -Eckhart Tolle
It took me years of difficult living to understand surrender had a bigger meaning than you conceding to my obvious brilliance.
"You have to realize that you are everything and more just on your own." -Jhene Aiko
This life is short, time is by far my most valued asset. What could I do were I to redirect all of that asset spent living in fear, resentment and regret.
"We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same." -Carlos Castaneda
If happiness and pain were stocks priced equally, what is my strategy investing in sorrow? Perhaps that the dividends are paid in extended suffering.
"A chip on the shoulder is too heavy a piece of baggage to carry through life." -John Hancock
My suitcase will hold as many resentments as I chose to cram in. Will I enjoy the trip as much if I pack for a quick weekend excursion or a journey to an extend stay property.
"If ye love wealth better than Liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you." -Samuel Adams
The greatest visionaries understand the passion required to build a new system. This same understanding may also reveal the slow death of their fire, not by failure but by our humanity.
"Is this problem really that big? Or is it your mind that creates the problem?" -Eckhart Tolle
The further I get from my birth, the more life trauma, mine and others, develops my catastrophic creative juices.
"I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil." -J.R.R. Tolkien
My life's training has been to not exhibit weakness, and that showing emotion displays frailty. If I truly consider those lessons, doesn't that philosophy ask me to deny perhaps the most fundamental part of the human experience.
"The ego doesn't know that the source of all energy is within you, so it seeks it outside." -Eckhart Tolle
Which wolf will I feed; The one that fills a hole inside or the one that enriches my whole being.
"Question yourself, yes, but don't doubt yourself. There's a difference." -Charmaine Wilkerson
Imposter syndrome is a direct result of my comparison to others. They are no different than me, sans, they've just decided to pursue what they want...confidently.
“Your self-worth is determined by you. You don’t have to depend on someone telling you who you are.” -Beyonce Knowles
No one knows me as well as I do. I can either paint a picture for you or just allow you to watch my documentary unfold.
"If you dont have any shadows you're not in the light." -Lady Gaga
When I cast dispersions, judgments or critiques at another, I have made a decision to live in hypocrisy.
"Creativity is part of human nature. It can only be untaught." -Ai Weiwei
My dismissive negativity usually comes from a place that serves my convenience and zero regard for you, your work and creative curiosity. Leading with kind consideration costs me nothing, consumes no more time and could spur something great for both of us. Maybe I should simply be flattered you chose me to share with.
"Don't forget while you're busy doubting yourself, someone else is admiring your strength." -Keanu Reeves
My toughest critic sees an unimaginable number of ways I could be better- Is always relentlessly chirping about it in my ear- Seldom recognizes the good that others do- All the while has intimate insight to the road I have traveled. What I should be telling myself- Be grateful and accepting of compliments and for crying out loud, be good to myself I deserve it.
"To live the lives we truly want and deserve, and not just the lives we settle for, we need a Third Metric, a third measure of success that goes beyond the two metrics of money and power, and consists of four pillars: well-being, wisdom, wonder, and giving." —Arianna Huffington
I find it sadly interesting that seemingly 75% of everything I discuss and contemplate has roots in or will progress into a consideration around vocation or power derived from it.
"Every person that comes into your life is here for a limited time, so be fair, be there." -Jhene Aiko
Lessons, resources and insights are all around me, especially when I need them most. Will I be open and available when they reveal themselves?
"No one really feels self-confident deep down because it's an artificial idea." -Russell Brand
The only cure for imposter syndrome is narcissism. Confidently proceeding with an open mind to new perspectives seems a healthy alternative.
"If we take good care of ourselves, we help everyone." -Thích Nhất Hạnh
The constant factor during my lowest and highest points of life is the value I have accessed myself.
“You can't be what you can't see. Expose yourself to more role models and diverse experience to broaden your perspectives and ideas.” -Jay Shetty
Just as I can become nose blind to familiar smells in my home, I can become thought blind if I only align with, and am open to, those voices with which I align. I mistake comfort for honest perspective.
“There’s a huge amount of suffering that is generated not by the actual challenges of life but by the fictitious problems that the mind creates.” –Eckhart Tolle
A mountain out of a molehill, speaks to the capabilities of my creative minds ability for fiction.
"No one is the worst thing they've ever done." -Oprah Winfrey
I've spent so much time pointing fingers at what others may or may not have done, have forgotten that I am no better nor worse than anyone else.
"If you do nothing unexpected, nothing unexpected happens." -Fay Weldon
Routines are great for my everyday redundancies but can potentially stifle growth if I have no room for unique activity.
"If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment." -Marcus Aurelius
I don't want to be told to; It is more comfortable to seek pity; It feels unimaginable; But every time I decide to say 'no' to suffering, its power over me dissipates.
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” -Maya Angelou
Nothing resonates more to me than a story that offers possibility and gives hope. Much more powerful than advice so quickly administered it can create feelings of being less than.
"Don't try to figure out what other people want to hear from you figure out what you have to say." -Barbara Kingsolver
Once I chose to be true to myself—not the version I thought others needed me to be—that’s when the page turned, and I felt the release. No more pressure to perform for an unwitting audience.
"You can only understand people if you feel them in yourself." -John Steinbeck
Although I am magnificently unique from you, I've learned the internal struggles we face are not so different. The desire to be happy, joyous and free. I should honor that in you as well as myself, when I feel a judgment coming on.
"Expose yourself to your deepest fear. After that, fear has no power, and fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free." – Jim Morrison
The feelings and emotions in my life are present because I granted them permission to be there.
“You only are free when you realize you belong no place — you belong every place.” -Maya Angelou
Labeling, classifying and sorting appear to create comfort for me at the cost of some else. I learned this recipe for resentment and anger on the playground.
"The best work ethic requires a good rest ethic." -Kevin Kelly
My best creative work - passion, personal or vocation - comes when I take time to pause and stop thinking so hard about resolutions, solutions or reactions.
"Unexpected intrusions of beauty. This is what life is." -Saul Bellow
Is my laser focus on commerce so important that I summarily dismiss the inquisitive child tugging on my shirt...or the needy humbly asking for help?
"Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right." -Robert Hunter
I can see quite a distance through a telescope, but while doing so, am blind to that inches away on the left or right.
"I have been bent and broken, but — I hope — into a better shape." -Charles Dickens
If I over invest in an outcome, I am likely to over respond when it is recognized. Give my best effort and hope for an expected outcome will reduce my suffering should it not be.